When the Law of Attraction, becomes the Law of Distraction.
What is the Law of Attraction. This is a concept that was made popular by a lot of people engaging in new age type of thinking, that if you just think of something long enough, hard enough, and clearly enough, it will manifest in your Life in amazing ways.
I’ve heard of this concept and it was certainly made popular by books like The Secret which was massively endorsed by very popular like Oprah Winfrey as well success coaches like Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, and Brian Tracy. Brian Tracy thinks so highly about The Law of Attraction, it was #4 in his book, The 100 Absolutely Unbreakable Laws of Business Success.
So not only in those 2 books, but also… Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles, The Alchemist, and The Game of Life and How to Play it and many, many others, and all of them are saying pretty much the same thing: That our thoughts manifest what we want in our lives and ALL we have to do is think clearly enough and things will just magically show up.
Let me say this: I will recognize the inherent Power of Positive Thinking, in fact, as both a coach for business owners and consultant for mid-level executives and executive teams, I highly encourage positive thinking. In fact, in my coaching and consulting sessions, or even in meetings with my own staff, I start out with wanting to know their Victories and Wins are, because I want to set everyone up in a positive frame of mind.
With people in a positive state of mind, I will coach people into getting extremely clear on their personal and business vision for the way want things to look like and creating behavior that is in alignment with that vision. So, thinking positively is surely a good thing. Thinking negatively, only tends to bring in more negativity. So yes, I will concede that like attracts like. More positively allows and attracts more positivity and more negativity attracts more negativity.
However, to suggest that all we have to do is think POSTIVELY, is setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.
Admittedly I had played a part in disseminating the idea of a “Law of Attraction” for a very brief period, the ideology that YOU are the Source, and that everything that happens is, in some way, a reflection of what you brought upon yourself. That you are “Sourcing” things into your Life.
That if you won the lottery, you sourced that into your life. That if you slip and fall and break a bone, that you sourced that into your Life. It even goes so far as to suggest that things outside of your control are things you “sourced” into your Life. For example, if you get hit from behind in your car, that somehow you sourced THAT into your Life. Right
Examples like that go from sublime to ridiculous, and sometimes outright dangerous. Some people believe that with enough positive thought, they can turn a cancer diagnosis into full remission. This is where well-intentioned people are giving out advice that is flat out dangerous.
Look, when we use the word Law, in this context we’re not talking about something legal, we’re talking about something scientific. Scientists begin with a hypothesis, which is sort of a guess of what might happen given a certain circumstance. Then, scientists investigate the hypothesis, they follow a line of reasoning and eventually formulate a theory. A theory is just the best guess of what will happen, but still not proven to be true. Once a theory has been thoroughly tested in various environments and situations, it is universally accepted and becomes a scientific law.
Remember, there was once a THEORY of gravity, which after thorough testing and observation, is something that has been proven to be true.
This is NOT the case of the LAW of Attraction.
If anything, the law of attraction exists and is perpetuated because of something known as a survivorship bias. A survivorship bias is best described with an example. Let’s say you run into an old friend from high school, and he is doing really well financially. He tells you that he’s made a fortune by trading stocks. You know a few other people who trade stocks, and they seem to be doing well too. So, the fact that he is successful, can easily lead you to the conclusion that A) He is financially successful, and B) he buys and sells stocks, therefore the way to get rich is to buy and sell stocks.
This is where you should stop and think. “How many people buy and sell stocks that lose their shirts and go broke that I never hear about?” We hear about all those rags to riches stories all the time, of people who once slept in their cars, did some sort of amazing business deal, and now live in massively huge houses that curve with the earth. We hear THOSE stories all the time. But do we hear much of those people who slept in their cars, took the chance of an amazing business deal, and STILL live in their cars because it didn’t work out? Of course not. We only hear about the survivors. That is a survivorship bias, and this is what keeps the whole idea of a “Law of Attraction” perpetuating.
We hear examples of where, following the Law of Attraction, where it worked out positively, all the survivors, if you will. We hear of the people who thought positive thoughts and suddenly things just worked out for them, because of the “Law of Attraction” whether through business deals, a healthy prognosis, or lottery tickets. So, how many people have gone to their graves where things DID NOT work out for them? If the Law of Attraction were a true scientific law, like the law of gravity, should it true, Every… Single… Time? Wouldn’t everyone in the world be a millionaire? Would there be no fat people? Would people stop dying of cancer? This is the dangerous side of the “Law of Attraction.”
Since, it’s a “Law” all I have to do is THINK of pile of cash or even a Large, Caramel macchiato that one will magically appear on my desk, right? Of course not, that is because the Law of Attraction is NOT a law. This is why I say the Law of Attraction is more like a Law of Distraction.
Don’t get me wrong, there are massive benefits to thinking positively, which I’ll cover here in a second. But it’s not enough just to think positively. When there is actually work and physical effort involved, you massively increase your chances of success in getting what you want.
I do believe we attract more of what we put out. But words matter, and I’d rather call this the cumulative effect of positivity or negativity, certainly not a law that follows strict rules.
Like I said, there are MASSIVE benefits to Thinking positively, as opposed to thinking negatively. First of all, by defining what we DO want in our lives, allows us to engage a very powerful part of our brain known as the Reticular Activating System. We’ve all experienced the Reticular Activating System, like when your neighbor buys a new car, you start seeing that type of car everywhere. That’s the Reticular Activating System at work. And you can use this to your advantage with your own personal Vision and goals. If you think nothing but negative thoughts, well shoot, that’s like going to the grocery store with a list of all the things you DON’T want to BUY. So let’s stack things in your favor by thinking positively, and by defining the things that you DO want.
There’s a ton of other reasons to think positively. It allows you to see and experience more positive things in your life. It allows for things like kindness and creativity to come into your Life and stay. And, it allows you to be fully present. The best reason, at least for me, is that it allows you share that positivity with others. Let’s face it, we can’t impart to others what we don’t possess in ourselves.